Here I am again, admitting defeat. It’s come to a point where I have to decide between my dream job and my dream family. I still don’t understand why I have to make the choice. I have always believed that God doesn’t let you bite off more than you can chew but in this case, he has.
I have a horrible problem with comparing myself to other people and I see all of these other people who are or were in a similar situation and they are doing fine. They can manage being a wife, a mom and a student and still get good grades; so why can’t I?
I was told this morning that I should give up on school. After a long drive and lots of tears I decided Chris was right. For some reason, even though I surround myself with go getters and what not, I can’t seem to be a successful wife, mom and student. Somewhere in there I lost myself and I feel everything else slipping away. Something has to go and sadly that means no more school.
I’m hoping I can take a quarter off; figure out my life and then get back to school but who knows what will happen. I really need to focus on me and I can’t do that when it takes me 10hrs to do an assignment that should only take 2hrs.
Failing isn’t an option for me but that is where I am at if I stay in school. I am holding on by my teeth and I am not sure I am going to get everything done in the next week. I hate to be a quitter but its quit or fail and I’d rather be a quitter than a failure.
