Here I am again, admitting defeat. It’s come to a point where I have to decide between my dream job and my dream family. I still don’t understand why I have to make the choice. I have always believed that God doesn’t let you bite off more than you can chew but in this case, he has.
I have a horrible problem with comparing myself to other people and I see all of these other people who are or were in a similar situation and they are doing fine. They can manage being a wife, a mom and a student and still get good grades; so why can’t I?
I was told this morning that I should give up on school. After a long drive and lots of tears I decided Chris was right. For some reason, even though I surround myself with go getters and what not, I can’t seem to be a successful wife, mom and student. Somewhere in there I lost myself and I feel everything else slipping away. Something has to go and sadly that means no more school.
I’m hoping I can take a quarter off; figure out my life and then get back to school but who knows what will happen. I really need to focus on me and I can’t do that when it takes me 10hrs to do an assignment that should only take 2hrs.
Failing isn’t an option for me but that is where I am at if I stay in school. I am holding on by my teeth and I am not sure I am going to get everything done in the next week. I hate to be a quitter but its quit or fail and I’d rather be a quitter than a failure.
Oh Tami, It doesn't mean that you are a failure. It just means that you had to make a tough chice and that you would rather focus on being a great Mommy to Olivia and Wife to Chris. Spreading yourself too thin isn't good for school or for family life. God obviously has a plan and He doesn't give you more than you can handle. Remember, you can always go back when things settle down. God has perfect timing. Don't give up on your dreams. It isn't one or the other but it is all about timing.
ReplyDeletePraying for you while you make this tough choice.
Thanks Trisha! It's super frustrating that I finally got myself at a place in school that I wanted to be and then timing with everything else seemed to be off. I know I will get my teaching certificate eventually. I just wish that I could skip the schooling part and start teaching!
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